TALK:
In part 1 we looked at how God is with us and in us (John 14:16-17 and Ephesians 3:16-17 as an example) as those who are following Him and wants to be with those who haven’t yet met Him. From this stepping stone, I want to emphasize that God wants to be with, and in, everyone; not because of what we’ve done or who we are, but because God passionately loves us. The Bible contains a section called Song of Solomon (Song of Songs in some translations) which is a set of love poems between an engaged couple who are desperately in love with each other. God uses this illustration to help show how much He loves His people (which is all people); He also uses the illustration of a parent to child relationship to help illustrate His compassion, concern, and protection of His people, but let’s stick with the passionate, loving, heart of God for now in the illustration of a loving couple. Song of Songs 4:9 reads, “You have ravished my heart…my spouse; You have ravished my heart with one look of your eyes”. The word ravished is speaking of stirring ones heart with affection. So the groom’s heart is stirred with affection just by looking at his bride which is exactly what happens to God when He looks at His people; We stir Gods heart with affection!
Another illustration can be found in the first Chapter of Esther when King Ahasuerus throws a huge banquet and wants his queen to join him. Jesus Himself echoes this banquet and wedding illustrations throughout the New Testament with His own use of the wedding feasts and marriage ceremonies to show His desire to be with us in intimacy together. (Matthew 22:2, and Matthew 25:10). Of course it isn’t a flawless illustration as the relationship between a human and God is different than a man and woman, and it is difficult to explain the depth of intimacy God wants with His people.
Now let’s change gears for a moment; We all have different people in our lives, some we are close or intimate with and some we are not. However, we can end up spending a lot of time with both engaging in “conversation”. Lets look at an example of one of these dialogues:
Person 1: “Did you hear what I did last night?”
Person 2: “No, Why don’t...”
Person 1: “Well, I got to go out to my favorite restaurant and they had my favorite dish on sale.”
Person 2: “That’s…”
Person 1: “I sure love the food there. What’s your favorite food?”
Person 2: “I really…”
Person 1: “Oh, you really have to check out my new pair of shoes. They are fantastic! I got them at the store down the street, you know, the one next to that new set of apartments coming in.”
Person 2: “Well…”
Person 1: “What do you think? They suit me well don’t they? The color and I think they are the newest fashion out of Paris. Which I’d really love to go to some time. The price is outrageous though for the airfare. Must have something to do with the rising gas prices…”
I’m sure as you were reading this someone came to mind; Someone who talks AT you and not with you. This could be a friend, co-worker, boss, or even a spouse. They can spend hours talking about everything and they wouldn’t miss a word even if you weren’t actually there.
Then we have those in our lives where a conversation is actually double sided. One person says something, the second engages and responds, and the first responds back and so on. This is talking WITH someone, not at them. These are the relationships that gain depth, meaning and you begin to look forward to having. They aren’t draining like the first example and you leave the conversation having expressed yourself and gaining some new information about the other.
So what does this have to do with prayer or God? Well, since God passionately loves us He wants us to engage with Him in prayer; not the praying AT Him style, but the praying WITH Him style.
There are two good examples of this in the Bible. A man named Job in the book of Job, and a man named David in the book of Psalms. Both of these men loved God and ended up with similar cries or prayers out to God and yet God responds to them differently. Here are their prayers:
Job: “Why do you hide your face, and regard me as your enemy?” (Job 13:24)
David: “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?” (Psalm 13:1)
First off, there are two main differences between the two men. David, who has a history of murder, lust, adultery, poor judgment and several other faults and Job who was considered blameless (Job 1:1). The second is that David brought some of the problems he was facing upon himself, where as Job was technically innocent in the disasters that came upon him (They weren’t a “natural” consequence of any poor choices he made.) So you may think it is obvious how God responds to them, who God is going to rebuke and who God is going to comfort; but you may have guessed wrong.
Job is the one who gets the rebuke and David the one who gets comfort. God rebukes Job for 4 chapters starting in Job 38:2-3, “Who is this who darkens counsel. By words without knowledge? Now prepare yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me.” And David gets guidance and help.
So why the difference? They both prayed didn’t they? Yes and No. They both said words to God, but Job talk AT God, while David talked WITH God. An example of this is seen in Job 27:5-6 or Job 13:15 where Job says, “Far be it from me that I should say you are right; Till I die I will not put away my integrity from me. My righteousness I hold fast, and will not let it go…” and, “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him. Even so, I will defend my own ways before Him.” Versus David in Psalm 13:3,5-6, reads, “Consider and hear me…Enlighten my eyes, Lest I sleep the sleep of death…But I have trusted in your mercy; My heart shall rejoice in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, Because He has dealt bountifully with me.” Job is talking AT God while David is talking WITH God. Job just wants to tell God what is going on and get an answer from Him; whereas David wants to share with God what is going on and receive guidance from Him.
Jesus Himself again does the same thing; and not just once but twice. Matthew 26:39 and 42. Jesus is in the garden praying, about to die the worst possible death (He knew it was coming), asking God to do something about it if possible and yet still says twice, “not as I will, but as you will.” Jesus cries out his concern and hope for a different scenario; yet He is sharing, not defending His own way. Jesus, as was David, was trying to be intimate with God; just as God wants to be intimate with us.
WALK:
Intimate, talking with God, is much different then what most people probably think or have seen from what they may have heard spoken by many Christians. Sadly, I admit (even to this day), there are times when I am guilty of many talking at God prayers. Don’t get me wrong, many of these prayers that end up being talking at God prayers, do come from the heart and are well intended and it is wonderful to know that God see’s what’s in the heart and doesn’t stop at just the surface words (Matt 23:14 and 1 Sam. 16:7). However, there are times when what comes out of our mouth shows the true nature of our heart (Matt. 12:34) as was seen with Job. Our prayers become either a “spiritual” covering for trying to get away with gossip or, like Job, a way of trying to prove your way before God or, as though God was unaware, giving God a list of what is going on. How many prayers of your own or from what you’ve heard from others, goes something like this:
“Dear Lord, just wanted to let you know that so-and-so, on this date, at this location, had this thing happen to them.” Or, “Dear Lord, so-and-so is getting into this kind of trouble and doing this wrong thing.”
God is not shocked, surprised, unaware or in need of a reminder. He’s not sitting up in heaven while you are praying flipping through His book of history/events trying to recall what you are talking about. He is however excited to be hearing from you if you are sharing this information with Him, not at Him.
Romans 12:15 reads, “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.” God takes His own advice, whether we do or not, and wants to do the same with us. He wants your good, bad, ugly and messy prayers, not as a list, but as an open, honest sharing of thoughts and heart.
This may come as a shock to many, including those in the church or who call themselves Christians, God doesn’t just want your polished, praising God, everything-is-peachy-keen prayers; He wants the prayers of hurt, pain, teed-off, no-holds-bar prayers. I’ve spent a number of times in prayers before God using words that you only find in R-rated movies, being completely mad at God, but in my heart it was a sharing with God and I was willing to listen to Him during and after. Same as in a marriage, if you’ve never had a disagreement, argument, or butt heads, then you are either still in the honeymoon period (and it will end) or you are full of it and someone is lying. Often these moments with God, or even with our spouse, can become the most open, heart revealing, and healing moments we may ever experience!
So here is my challenge to you and me; are you willing to start being honest with God in your prayers (good or bad) and pray in a way that is praying with God, not at Him?
LIVE:
Prayer at times sucks, talking to anyone at certain times sucks; it’s hard to come up with the right words to get our message across, it can be painful, humbling, dangerous, and often requires us to see the other persons point of view even when we completely disagree with them. There are times when we can carry on a conversation WITH someone and yet still go away defensive, unfulfilled, hurt, disappointed and even angrier then when we first started the conversation. These feelings are also intensified when they occur with someone who is close to us; a best friend, spouse, parent, child, or sibling; which may explain why our prayers with God can be so painful and difficult at times.
Genesis 2:24 states, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Bringing this verse further than its obvious sexual reference we can become emotionally and spiritually connected to someone as if that person were our own self. As mentioned earlier, God Himself wants to become one flesh with us, He wants to be “married” to us, dwell in us, and love us even more intimately then a husband and wife. If this be the case, then of course our prayers are going to hurt at times, intimacy hurts and takes work.
Genesis goes even further in verse 25 saying, “And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.” Later in chapter 3:7 and 8, after they sin, they end up covering themselves up and hiding from each other and God. So again, this verse refers to more then the physical or sexual aspect, but can refer to an emotional, spiritual and psychological connection. We were meant to be completely transparent and revealing to each other and God Himself.
Jesus fixed this problem upon the cross, John 3:16, so we can once again become naked before God without fear. When God sees us, He sees the original us, the real us, the full potential of what we are going to grow into; not the false person we’ve created to cover up our pains, hurts and short comings (real or perceived). So we no longer have to be fearful when we talk to God for we aren’t that old person anymore when in Christ.
So what are our prayers going to be like? How are we going to talk with God? We need to be naked and transparent before Him; which includes being transparent with ourselves. Are you going to be so set in your ways like Job, or ready to allow God to be one flesh with us like David and Jesus were?
Remember, relationships aren’t easy, conversations are difficult, and intimacy is dangerous. In order to make these things easier, whether with God or other people, we need a sense of security and authentic love in order to open up; This is what Christianity, a walk with God, is really about. I could list off verse after verse about God’s love, but He doesn’t want that kind of relationship based on head knowledge. God wants us to experience His love in a growing relationship, just like a couple dating, it starts off small and grows in depth and intimacy as you experience each other, not as you fulfill a check list of things you know about a person.
I want to close off with a challenge to begin to get transparent with God; let Him begin to see the real you, which will also involve you being real with you. Allow God to love you one step closer then you have before and see where the relationship goes. One last point to remember for those who may have tried this before; God is not religion, God is not denominations, and God is not the experience of any other person. God is personal and relates to everyone in an intimate way that may or may not be the same as the person next to you. Let God love you personally.
(This is the second topic of three on prayer. The next topic, “Did God hear me?”, is meant to grow from this topic. We’ll begin to explore more of the intimacy in prayer and what it is we are hearing or not in return.)
