TALK:
I’ve debated and prayed over how to begin introducing this journey. I had thought of beginning with the traditional “Jesus loves you” message or how God sent His son to bring us back to Him because He loves us so much; but then it struck me, we’ve all heard messages, sermons, and stories of Gods’ love towards us, to some degree or another; but what of those who don’t even want God’s love, who don’t trust the idea of God, or have been hurt by those who “represent” God’s love in some church or religious group. I’m sure this group would even include some who go to church every Sunday. Back to what I was saying; to this group I wish to address and think that many long standing Christians may benefit from this as well (as I have and continue to).
The bible and preachers alike use a variety of terms and illustrations when describing how God, through Jesus, loves us or wants to be in a relationship with us. The most common is that of a loving father (Is. 9:6, Matt. 6:9) or similarly a loving parent and us as His children. There are also other instances, especially in reference to Jesus Christ himself, describing the relationship as a unified ‘body’(1 Cor. 12:27), as friends (John 15:14-15), or even more intimate as a bride and groom engaged to be married (Matt 15:1). We’ve also all had people in our lives who represented authority and/or intimate partnership of some kind, whether ‘Christian’ or not is irrelevant at this point, and may include a parental figure (as already mentioned) biological or not, perhaps a grandparent, other care giver, as well as friends, spouses, and pastors. In each of these relationships, throughout our lives, we’ve gained experiences and perspectives when we hear certain terms, names, or images that could be both positive and/or negative. Take for example that of a parent: One may have grown up with great memories, with ‘near perfect’, open and caring relationships; or the opposite in an uncaring, maladaptive, and even harmful (physically or other) relationship. There may even be a third group dealing with an absent parent relationship. These factors place a perspective or interpretation when you think of a parent. Some others may be relating more to those who represent Christianity and these relationships may have influenced their perspectives. This ‘churchgoer’ may have been to one side, kind and ‘grace and mercy’ all the way or to the other ‘fire and brimstone’, aggressive and closed to ideas or questions.
Some may know this already, but I am not trying to trick anyone or use great speech, flashy images or any such thing to get one into a relationship with God. It was once said to me, “If I can persuade you one way with fancy words and ideas, there will eventually be someone else who comes along with fancier words and ideas to persuade you in another.” Which is also a biblical warning to not be tossed around with random ideas (Eph. 4:14) or things that tickle your ears (2 Tim. 4:3). So please be open to listening and also discerning to whether what is said is truthful or even relevant to you. God is looking for our relationship, however, I will NOT tell you that coming to God or allowing Him into your life will be cotton candy and simple. As in any relationship there will be challenges and growing pains that will develop into great moments of peace, joy and excitement along the way.
With all these ideas, let me simply suggest that perhaps God is different than any of our current experiences, expectations or perceptions when it comes to relationship with Him. The bible suggests this same idea when we read, “His [God] ways are not man’s ways.” (Is. 55:8), “He has plans to prosper us.” (Jer. 29:11), or “If an evil man can give good gifts, how much more a good God.” (Matt. 7:7-11).
WALK:
So I ask you to walk with me please for another moment. The bible talks about Jesus coming to set us free; so if, whether to grow closer to God, or just for your own freedom, let me challenge you with a question, and please be honest with yourself: Good, bad, or ugly list three things that immediately come to mind when you think of your own biological father? (Let’s use the image of “father” as it is common in the bible.)
[please take a moment to do this for nothing that follows will be relevant or as impactful if you don’t]
What did you come up with? Was your dad always there to answer questions and fix a problem you may have? Was your dad abusive (in what ever form) or make you think you were of lesser value then you really are? Or perhaps “absent” comes to mind? For some this question may be easy, for others more challenging and possibly very emotional.
Now let me ask you one final question or challenge to ponder. When you think or hear of “God as your Father”, do you apply any of your previous answers about your biological dad to your view of God? If so, what is the impact?
LIVE:
As was mentioned earlier, Jesus came to set us free (John 8:36), so whether you accept Him in all He is offering, or to gain clarification and understanding of your own thoughts, what are you going to do with this step in the journey? The obvious question that comes to mind is, is your view of God limited, distorted or causing you frustration because of your applied view of your own dad to God (no matter what stage you are in your walk with or without God)? What are you expecting of or from God? Do these match up with the authentic, undistorted, unreligious, biblical descriptions of God?
A similar question could be asked; does your view of your biological dad effect your other relationships? Perhaps with a friend, spouse, coworker, or even church members or pastors? If you’ve said yes to any of these questions maybe it is time for a change? Whether you’ve had good, bad, or indifferent experiences with your biological dad, or others in your life, why not allow yourself to be set free instead of carrying baggage that may or may not even be your own. Jesus says that His yoke (luggage) is light (an illustration again to try and explain He wants to free us into a living inheritance. Matt 11:29). This freedom may be allowing yourself to see a bigger picture of who God is. Or maybe you aren’t at a point of accepting God or Jesus, but want some freedom in your relationships with others, and to see those flourish?
A lot of pains, with God or others, can begin to heal with forgiveness, ‘letting go’, and allowing others to no longer ‘influence’ you in ways that are hurting or hindering you (Acts 26:18). Finally, forgiveness (not necessarily meaning forgetting at this point) can mean two things: forgiving others, and forgiving yourself.
I pray and hope that this step in the journey has been enlightening and that you will chew on this for a while to see how it tastes. Please remember, as I’m sure we’ve all heard as kids with certain veggies, “It may not taste great, but it is good for you.”
